Reminiscing

It hit me early this week, as I ripped "February" from my desk calendar to see my 24 day countdown until Sam and I leave for our cruise... it has almost been a year since our wedding day. I know, I know I should have seen it coming; the cruise is our one year anniversary celebration, but I don't think I had focused in on the anniversary part of it. It seems absolutely crazy to think that it's almost been a year! The last eighteen months or so have been amazingly fast. I honestly remember the six month mark before our wedding all too clearly: it feels like last month!

In light of the coming anniversary, I can't help but think back on the whirlwind that was the months leading up to the big day. I know every bride probably feels like her own wedding trials are the most distressing or overwhelming, but honestly it seems that Sam and I had more than our fair share of bumps and wrong turns in our journey to the wedding day. We had all the regular distresses and worries: will the bridesmaid dresses fit, will the flower girl walk down the aisle, will I mess up my vows? But we had so much more too.

First off, the rings. I remember every magazine planner saying to buy the wedding rings about 3 months ahead. Well if Sam and I had taken this route, we would have been wedding band-less. Six months out Sam and I went to order our rings. Both of us chose incredibly straight forward, plain bands. Sam's band ended up being fine, no problems. But mine was nothing but problems. After a good six or seven trips to Atlanta and countless different sizes ordered, we came to the conclusion that it wasn't the wedding band but the engagement ring setting that was causing me such problems. Sam loving said that he only wanted me to be happy and that I could trade it if I wanted to. Keep in mind that it's February by this point, less than eight weeks away. I find a setting that will work, agree to fork over the several hundred dollars in difference and leave the jewelry store without my engagement ring. The store wanted to send my ring to the jeweler in New York and have them size the new setting and place the diamond all at once so I wouldn't have any more delays. The following week, Sam got a phone call... The jeweler in New York had lost my engagement ring INCLUDING the diamond. Needless to say, when Sam called, I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. I remember thinking how hard Sam worked to save up for that ring, and POOF it was gone. The jewelry store in Atlanta assured us that it would be replaced so we headed back down to Atlanta to select a new diamond. The New York jeweler graciously comped us the new diamond, the upgraded setting, and my wedding band at no additional charge. But wow! You never expect to be diamond ring less AND wedding band less than 10 weeks before your wedding.

The dress... again WOW! My mom was amazing and diligently spent the summer of my engagement running back and forth all across the metro Atlanta area looking for the perfect dress. When I couldn't find the "perfect" dress we decided to have one made. A very long story short, I ended up with a dress that was NOTHING like my sketches or what we discussed in the design consultations. I wanted to cry. I was soooo upset thinking how many other dresses I passed up on for this one, and yet I liked several of them so much more. Mom knew right away after the last fitting that this was a disaster, and the next morning while I was inwardly moping she wakes up to say "well, where do you want to go look for a new dress?" We had already put a deposit on the custom dress, but mom went to bat for me, cancelled the order without further payment on the basis of the failure to deliver what was asked, and we went shopping again. Amazingly enough, I ended up choosing the first dress I tried on during round two. But ordering a dress three weeks out is supposed to be impossible, so I was adapting to the idea of wearing a sample dress when we heard the great news: there was a dress ordered by a girl in Spain in my size with extra length. Her day was nine months away so they had it shipped straight to Atlanta. After that I had two weeks to figure out undergarments, shoes, and fittings. Somehow, thanks to my AMAZING momma, it all came together...

In the midst of all the wedding drama, Sam and I were patiently (haha) waiting to hear where exactly we would be spending the next several years of our married lives. Now let me tell you, as a type- A personality, with a need to plan, this was TORTURE! I wanted to research apartments, look for jobs, just dream a little, but we had no idea where we were heading, or when, as Sam hadn't heard back from any PT schools with an affirmative. And then we got THE phone call: Emory had accepted Sam. Honestly, I can't explain my pride. I was so overwhelmed. Sam had a very long journey to Physical Therapy school with a lot of let downs and obstacles to overcame, but if there is one defining characteristic of my husband he is committed; he is resilient. The relief we all felt was amazing. I don't think we even knew how much stress we had been carrying until it was lifted: our future was starting and we knew where we were going. For two weeks I spent every moment that I had free from the wedding to research places to live in and around Emory. And then there was a SECOND phone call... Sam got into MCG! With three weeks to go before our wedding we had a decision to make: a big one! And what would the last month of engagement be without at least one good, heated disagreement? Naturally, Sam and I had vastly different opinions about what our decision should be. And to make matters worse we had about 24 hours to decide as an $800 deposit was due to Emory the following day. So who would it be? Emory? Close to home, great connections, great clinical experience, and notoriety. Or MCG? A fraction of the cost. You can probably guess how we aligned. I wanted Emory and all the glory of going to such a prestigious school paired with a great city and ample job opportunities. Sam wanted the smallest bill.

In the end, cost won out... we were headed to Augusta. And a month earlier than expected! We decided after reaching that ultimate decision that we would put all other decisions regarding school on hold until we got back from the honeymoon.

Although they seemed incredibly important at the time, all of these obstacles and decisions would soon take a brutal reality check. With just over a week to go, Sam's family was dealt a shocking blow: Sam's cousin Brandon passed away in an unexpected accident. He was only nineteen years old, far too young. Honestly it was all kind of a blur, the horrible kind. Instead of a whirlwind or parties and luncheons, appointments and packing, the Monday before our wedding we all stood as a family and laid Brandon Kohler to rest. Definitely an incredibly hard and sobering day. Sam's family was amazing and somehow they all managed to partition their grief and their happiness. Despite the incredible sadness of losing a brother, son, grandson, and nephew, his entire family made it to our wedding. Let me tell you, there was NO greater gift to me. As the girl who had one entire half of her family boycott her wedding day, it meant more than anything to me that they would all come to share in our special day despite the gaping whole in all of our hearts.

Thankfully, I can look back now on the crazy months leading up to our wedding with both smiles and tears. It was an incredibly stressful time, one that I wouldn't relive again for sure. Ultimately, I just remember reminding myself of something Mike, our minister told Sam and I, "at the end of the day, no matter what, you're married". And that is truly my take away: that thankfully despite everything that occurred, we made it to and through our wedding day.

When I Said I Do

For several months now, maybe even a year, the Lord has really placed young married couples on my heart. It has become the cry of my heart that my generation would begin to turn the tide and divorce would become a thing of the past. It breaks my heart to hear stories of people my age who are already divorced, but the truth is, it is not that uncommon.

Now let me stop here and say right away that this isn't a diatribe where I'm sitting here on some lofty throne asking why my peers allow their marriages to fail. I'm not pointing fingers, or placing blame. I don't claim to have all the answers and I don't believe for one moment that I have the perfect marriage. And let me go one step further and admit that I may be one of the only people I know who has prayed for a divorce (not for myself). So no, I don't think we should return to the dark ages where women have no rights and can be abused and beaten, but must stay come what may. I'm not saying that I think there is no place for divorce. I'm just saying that I think somewhere along the line the idea of divorce got blown wildly out of context. Now, if I fall out of love, if he is unfaithful, if we grow apart, if someone who treats me better comes along, or if one of a hundred different things happens in the course of my marriage, then I have the right to leave. It is as if marriages now begin with a preconceived list of things that give one an out.

The thing that really bothers me the most is that the statistics of marriage are about the same across the board in America... Christian or not. The scriptures are clear that God intended for one man and one woman to unite... the end. There are causes and reasons for divorce, but it is certainly not the litany of reasons that we as a culture have deemed permissive. In Andy Stanley's series Staying in Love, he discusses the idea that marriages last and love persists because of mutual, unending submission of one's will for the other. This was honestly, a completely new idea to me when I first heard this. Sam and I heard this message before we ever started premarital counseling and this idea was reinforced during that time, but I just remember thinking, "am I the only one who had not previously approached the idea of marriage in this way?" I think that today, with such a large population of 20-somethings with one or more divorces in their immediate family, it is probably safe to assume that many do not know how to have a lasting, fulfilling marriage.

This is where my brain starts running into overdrive as I think about the opportunity the Church has to meet this need, and what life changing, really history changing, opportunities this has for future family trees. In my mind I see a ministry for 20-somethings who are NOT engaged. I think we have to change the way we are approaching the whole process. The engagement period kind of feels like a runaway train, and I think this is the wrong time to really address what a marriage should be. The engagement should be a time focussed on the individual couple, as they plan and think through the future under the leadership of another married couple. It is BEFORE this that the ideas of marriage need to be adjusted and set on track so that when the young people do find the one, they are on course to succeed. Currently, it seems that it is after the date is already set that preconceived notions must be dealt with and expectations laid bare.

Sam and I were fortunate enough to have incredible premarital counseling from a couple who truly loves the Lord and honestly wanted to see us succeed. Where many couples I know had less than five hours of counseling, Sam and I probably had twenty or more! I'd love to see a ministry program that removed this obligation from the senior pastor's list of to-do's when necessary. A system where Godly couples who are truly passionate about seeing this generation succeed would partner with the church and spend hours ministering to, loving on, and advising the engaged couple. That a relationship would form during this time that would allow the couple, once married, to have someone to turn to that is not a parent. I think that this is an important key because we all know that in the eyes of our parents, even if they love our spouse to death, we will always be more right, more justified, and more deserving. When times get tough young couples need an unbiased ear to listen and wise words supported by the Word of God to steer them.

I certainly don't have it all fleshed out yet, nor do I know if this is something that I will ever see come to fruition, but I know that if I could convince a church like Athens Church to begin a program devoted to seeing young people start their first marriage right, it truly could be the only marriage they ever have. A program like this in a city like Athens where every year hundreds of couples get engaged and married could really create some dramatic life change. If the Lord leads us back to Athens, I'd love to see this come to life.

In the midst of this, the Lord just continues to lay other young, married couples on my heart. I continue to pray that the Lord would keep them safe from this world and the temptations that exist to betray one's marriage and the laziness that allows unity to become less and less important. So if you are newly married or newly engaged, or even simply young and married, know that I think of you and pray for the Lord's guiding hand in your marriage and his protection over you and your spouse. May we be the beginning of a generation that says I lay my rights down for the sake of my marriage, and I will submit my will to the one I love.

Happy New Year

2011, already? 2010 was a really big year for us! Last night as Sam and I watched the various news broadcasts about 2010 in review, I couldn't help but get the feeling that most Americans were collectively holding their breath in anticipation of a fresh start and a chance to put 2010 behind them... most of the moments and memories were a little bleak. However, as I lay there, bleary eyed, and thinking, "clock go faster or I'll never make it", I was remembering some very different moments from 2010! A LOT has happened this year for Sam and I...

Sam got into Emory for their Physical Therapy program! (SO EXCITING!)

About a week before the big day, Sam got into MCG!!!! Change of plans!

We got MARRIED!!!

Sam finally had a chance to experience my Colorado and I got to go back if only for 8 brief days as we celebrated our Honeymoon in Breckenridge!

3 weeks later we moved to Augusta! And that was just the first 5 months! Since then, we've bought a monster, I mean sweet Sterling, conquered the job market, as well as 2 full semesters of the PT program, made some great friends, turned 25 (ewww!) and fallen more in love!

With all of that, I can honestly say, I wasn't in too big of a hurry for 2010 to end! The Lord has been very good to us and we are very thankful for such a memorable year together. But time moves on, and the crystal ball dropped and we rang in the new year in our pajamas snuggled up together on the couch.

So now that we're here, I guess, welcome 2011, you've got a lot to live up too!

I never really get into the New Year's Resolution thing... like most American's I tend to make it a brief period before the motivation dies, BUT here are a few goals for this year.

1- Focus more on the Lord. And trust in Him and His plan. My timing and planning needs to take a backseat to waiting on the Lord and His perfect plan.

2- Be a better wife! God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams by giving me Sam. Most days I just don't deserve a Husband who loves me unconditionally, tells me I'm beautiful even when my hair's a mess and I'm in sweats, deals with my moods, cooks beautiful dinners every night, and keeps the mood light and outlook positive. I am such a lucky lady and I just want to learn to love Sam more and more.

3- Get our finances in order! As with most married couples money, is one of our biggest stresses. Although, I have to admit that I am pretty proud of myself for the changes I've made to save money, we still have a lot more to learn about doing without and saving for tomorrow instead of living for today.

Where's Home?

Do you ever feel like you don't belong? Or better yet, do you ever dream of relocating? Just picking up and moving? I do, I have for a long, long, long time. I think I was about five years old when I decided that I would eventually move to Colorado. I've never wavered... Never. When I see weather forecasts like these I can't help but long for the crisp mountain air, the WHITE Christmases, weekends on the slopes, and the overwhelming beauty of Colorado. My ultimate goal has always been to return to live in a small town, like the one I was born in, (Fort Collins) where it's big enough you can get lost, small enough you feel safe, and close enough that a weekend of shredding the slopes is a quick car ride away. And when I see the ridiculous awards and statistics for this AMAZING town, I cannot help but think, I've been right all along... Colorado should be my home.

I'd love, love, LOVE to say that come May 2013 (when my wonderful Husband will be graduating) we will be ready to pack it all up and head west, but pessimism, or maybe realism is starting to settle in. In light of jobs, children, money, and family it will probably not be realistic to load up the moving vans immediately after graduation (unless of course Sam gets a clinical out there and gets an awesome job offer). So I guess in the back of my mind, as I attempt to come to grips with the delay, I've been contemplating other possible landing areas after our exodus from Augusta.

I really, honestly cannot imagine moving back to Gainesville for any long period of time... ultimately there is just too much water under the bridge for me there and I just have to believe that there is way more to this world than what Gainesville has to offer us. And currently my heart is leading back to Athens. I know, I know, I can't be a college kid forever. But there are a lot of really fabulous things about Athens. Exhibit A: football tickets, or if we can't afford tickets, at least we are close enough to tailgate and feel part of the excitement. Exhibit B: It's not Gainesville (obviously), but it IS close enough to make a quick trip home to see the family (something I thoroughly failed to appreciate when it was available to me). And if Sam and I are planning on starting a family, it would be great to be close to all the grandmas. Exhibit C: Athens Church. Now most people probably wouldn't choose a city to live in based on the church there, normally it's the other way around. But now that I'm gone both from the church and the workplace, I realize what an AMAZING church family we had there. I would be thrilled to be blessed with the messages of Andy Stanley each Sunday, a weekly small group of like minded married couples who want to "do life" together, and to be close enough to drop in on old friends and coworkers to hear the amazing life change that is occurring through their work and prayers.

Ultimately, I'm praying hard that the Lord will give me contentment during the days left in Augusta; that I will look upon this time as an opportunity to create lasting memories and family traditions for the years ahead with Sam, and that I will cease waiting for life to get better than it already is. But I'm also praying that the Lord will begin to direct our path where HE wants us to go. If it's Colorado, GREAT! I pray he would prepare a way and provide for us in the days ahead. If it's Athens, that would be wonderful too, kind of a coming home. And if it's none of the above, I pray that we would ultimately seek HIM to find fulfillment.

It's Christmas Time in the City

Yay! It's my FAVORITE time of the year! This Christmas is particularly special as it is our first Christmas as husband and wife. We have had so much fun shopping for all the decorations! Well, let me amend that, I have had an incredible time doing the aforementioned, and Sam has dutifully smiled and pretended to care about each little decision.

When Sam and I went home for Thanksgiving we decided to look at the Christmas tree farm that my family has bought trees from for the past six years or so. Sam priced them here in Augusta so we knew we were looking for a great deal (without skimping in the least). As my mom and Sam can attest, I am a little bit picky about Christmas trees... they must be perfect. For the last sixteen years my family has been fortunate enough to have very high ceilings so we have always had very large trees. I was not looking forward to downgrading in the least... a tree that is shorter than my husband just doesn't seem all that large, even if it is "average height". So Sam and I helped pick out a BEAUTIFUL twelve foot tree for my mom's house, and then, while the men drilled the whole and bundled it up, Sam and I browsed the small tree section. They were all so pitiful... skinny, short, nothing looked right. And then out of nowhere, bam! Beautiful! It's short, that's for sure, but it's as tall as our little old home can handle. We were debating whether it was worth buying it and hauling it all the way back to Augusta, when the sweet lady who runs Cooper's Tree Farm came and put a price tag on our sweet tree! And that did it! I can't say no to a great deal! So Sam grabbed our perfect baby Christmas tree and hauled it to the drill!

On Sunday when we got home to Augusta, we quickly made a fresh cut and got our Christmas tree in the stand and watered. We then headed out to get lights, which of course required two trips. I guess even the first year when you are guaranteed they will all light, you still have to make an extra trip for more! Sam was great and helped put up the lights and decorations while we utilized the greatness on Pandora to listen to some Christmas carols.

As we have the extra ordeal of Sterling to contend with, we went almost entirely with shatterproof ornaments, which has turned out great! We spent way less money then we would have on glass ornaments AND as both Sterling and Everest love to get ornaments off the tree, we've been saved a great deal of heartache over broken glass!

So here it is, our first Christmas tree!

Along with our tree skirt from Pottery Barn (monogrammed and shipped for FREE) we got stockings for ALL of us. Sterling's and Everest's are actually from Pottery Barn Kids, and I couldn't resist! They were just too cute!

Thankfully we have a cute little shelve in our living room since we don't have a fireplace, but I'm pretty pleased!

It also gave me a great (safe) place to display some of the many nutcrackers that I've been collecting for the past fifteen years. The remainder ended it up squeezed in an old bookcase. All of our Christmas decorations are above the five foot level, but I'm pretty pleased with what we've accomplished.

And for the first year that we can't be home with our families for the greater part of December, we've done a good job of creating our own festive feel in Augusta until we can make it home. So Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you are all enjoying this Christmas season as much as Sam and I! May the Lord bless you and your's in the coming year!

Super Human

So lately I've been wondering, when do I grow up and become Superwoman? I guess I always thought that it was an age or status thing that somehow, when I reached this invisible marker, I would transform into a "needs no sleep", "loves to clean, and quickly", "errand running", "extra time in my day" kind of woman... But I think I was wrong because I'm exhausted, out of energy, tired of cleaning, and would need an extra 12 hours to accomplish all of my good intentions.

So my question is this: "how did my mom get to be Superwoman (and probably your mom too!)?" For almost my whole life my mom has worked a full time job, kept a SPOTLESS house, fixed beautiful dinners for our family, and done all of the grocery shopping and errands alone. And yet I never really felt, shirked in anyway. My lunch was always the coolest at school, she read to me every night until I was WAY too old, we watched movies, hung out... how did she do it all? She's like Mighty Mouse or the Energizer Bunny, and I guess I always thought that once I "grew up" I'd gain these special powers too. And might I add that she never complained, I never heard her say, "ughh, I'm so sick of unloading the dishwasher" or "I could really use some help with all this laundry", it was just done, with grace and poise.

And it's not just my mom (although she is spectacular) I know Sam's mom still works full time teaching, spends countless hours grading English papers, and yet still finds time to make it to all of her grandson's practices and ballgames, church every Sunday, and family dinners every night. Plus she stays up later than me and gets up earlier, and yet I can probably count on one hand the number of times she has complained of being tired.

I have these great and lofty dreams for how life will be once Sam graduates and has a great job. We'll have a beautiful family and I'll eventually get to stay at home with my kids, keep house, coupon shop myself to death saving my family gobs of money, and maybe do a little fabulous design work on the side. Plus, Sam and I will have great small group friends that we might even host at our home weekly, I'll have plenty of time to volunteer at the church, and I'll be able to devote ample time to loving and serving my husband and family.

Now I know that all sounds a bit crazy, but it's my dream, and I'll keep it for a while longer. But in the mean time... I sure could use some super powers! So I guess my next read will be Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley, and maybe that will help me to find some margin in my life to develop and pour into the things that really matter while I work on developing my super powers.

Birthday Celebrations

So where have the Greavu's been lately? Celebrating birthdays of course, it is October!

Last weekend Sam and I went home to have a family birthday party with our parents. My mom surprised me midweek with a great surprise... tickets to the UGA/Vandy game! With that news, Sam and I were even more thrilled to be heading home! We hadn't been to the Georgia campus in over a year, and our last game was the dismal day in '08 when we fell to the Jackets (boo). So Friday night we loaded up the car with all of our junk (and animals) and headed home.

Saturday morning (Mom's birthday), my momma, Stuart, Sam and I headed down to Athens. Sam and I were really happy to be back on campus. I think there is just something about your college days that will always be nostalgic, and for Sam and I, that campus is where we met, fell in love, end began dreaming of our future together. We decided to use our pre-game time to scout out a new collar and leash for Sterling. Although he's not a bulldog, he is a BULLDAWG! So cute!

More good news for us, despite the slow start for the Bulldogs this year, Georgia showed up that day and had a beautiful game and shut out the Commodores (perfect)! PLUS, we were there for the Collaring Ceremony for UGA VIII. We were there for VII's ceremony as well, but we're hoping that this sweet boy will have a much longer life. He's off to a great start as the dogs are 2-0 under Big Bad Bruce's reign! What a great day!

Photo courtesy of AJC.com/sports

We headed home after the game to get ready for Sam's family to come over for some yummy lasagna and CARROT CAKE!!! Delicious! Shane surprised us by coming over as well so we all sang Happy Birthday to my Momma, Sam, and myself and enjoyed some family time together. It was a good day all around as Genie and Bob got to see the Cats knock off South Carolina while wearing their Kentucky blue.

Thursday was my actual birthday, and Sam has learned that birthday's (and Christmas) are a big deal for me, so despite my rather glum attitude about turning 25, he surprised me with a wonderful birthday! I came home to find a large, WRAPPED gift, and a card. I was so excited, Sam is not a man of many words, so cards are not his thing, nor is wrapping, but it was all PERFECT! I am such a lucky wife!

He got me a beautiful quilt for our bed, which is perfectly timed as our home begins to get seriously chilly and we attempt to survive the semester without turning on heat (we'll see)! The quilt is the color of the top pillow, "Sandlewood" from Pottery Barn (my favorite).

Photo courtesy of PotteryBarn.com

AND, the sneaky husband that he is, he told me to go ahead and get ice for drinks before dinner, I open the freezer to discover Coldstone! Not just any Coldstone either, but a whole half gallon on my very favorite Cake Batter ice cream, mixed with brownies, white chocolate chips, and caramel! Yum! And since it was my birthday, the kind lady had made me a small extra with whipped cream and sprinkles! So wonderful! Thanks to my family, I had a wonderful 25th birthday!

Friday, Sam and I went out to dinner to actually celebrate our birthday's together since his is Monday and we really can't afford two restaurant nights so close together. Kyle and Lesley Anne Fenton joined us for pizza, and we has a great night of fellowship with new friends.

Saturday, it was our turn to return the favor and journey for two of our good friends Kyle Kersey and Haley Staples. They had an adorable engagement party with friends and family to celebrate with them as they prepare for their wedding next June! Kyle was Sam's roommate and Haley was mine for a while in college, and they lovingly traveled for all of our pre-wedding festivities, so we were happy to do the same for them. However, we were NOT happy when we returned home last night to find this...

Sterling had apparently decided to take revenge on us for leaving him in his cage for 6 hours. What the pictures don't show is that Sterling, not only ripped all the way through the curtains, effectively sawing them in half, but he also pushed the plastic liner of his cage out, ripped the towels his cage rested on up though the bottom and ate holes through both, completely severed a BRAND NEW (purchased that day) toy in half, and banged into the sides of his cage until the door is warped, the floor is warped and he had unclipped nearly all of the side hooks of the cage. Good grief! He is obviously suffering from separation anxiety, but really was all of that necessary?

Other than that, we lead a quiet life these days! But stay tuned for a new post soon... Sam's birthday is TOMORROW!