Wishing Away the Days

What's new? I've been wishing away days, weeks, months, heck, whole seasons of my life I'm pretty ashamed to say. But now that we're here: 8DPO, 7DPIUI, I'm wishing the days away like crazy. I just have to get to Saturday (yea, yea, I know I originally said Monday). If it's negative, I'll cry, throw an excellent pity party, and then retest on Monday, at which point if it's still negative, I will dissolve into a puddle. Offers are being taken now for volunteers to scrape the goo (what's left of me) off the sidewalk. BUT, if it's positive... oh geez... I will not wait for Monday, I will drive myself straight on down to Atlanta (without an appointment) and demand a beta. I will not wait for Monday again... I've been down that road before and terrible, awful, no good, very bad things happen.

I'm pretty sure that I've had every early pregnancy symptom at least once in the last week... but who am I kidding? My guess is that so have you because the symptoms of early pregnancy are the symptoms of LIFE. I've decided that my contribution to the TTC community will be this: once I complete this TTC roller coaster, I'll have so much money I won't know what to do. So, I'm going to create a new test... a test for actual conception: i.e. did sperm meet egg?... Now sure, it'll be crazy sad to get a positive on this new test only to get a negative, which would mean it failed to implant. But at this point, I've just GOT TO KNOW.

I'm also interested in discovering safe alternatives to over-dosing on sleeping pills or requesting a medically induced coma to allow for a solid two weeks of sleep. Because really, I don't need to be awake for this. I'm worthless. My head is somewhere else and my body is functioning an autodrive as it searches EVERY neural/physical response within my body for signs of life (it's too early to feel a kick, right? I should cross that one off my list.). And no, I don't need to keep myself busy... I'm working a full time and a part time job... I'm plenty busy. This does not equate to a distraction. It just equates to time that I must be awake... the goal is to be asleep, wahhhhh!

But a big shout out to a quite a few girls who survived the 2WW and received good news! Go on over and tell Amanda, Infertile265, and Laura congratulations on their positive pee sticks and beta results! Good luck ladies, we are all pulling for you!

And that's all I've got folks... I told you: it's all on autopilot.