Tonight, Sam gave me one injection... one injection with the world's smallest needle. How did I handle it? I cried. I begged him not to. I whined. I offered to inject him. I turned one injection into twenty-five minutes of theatrics (I'm really good add dramatic flair). You guys, I'm not ready for IVF.
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| Follistim travel kit: So I can take it with me and shoot up in awkward places like public bathrooms. Nice, huh? |
I'm totally embarrassed to admit that the needles are one of the biggest deterrents for me from IVF. I mean sure, if we had the money, I'd go for it, but it would not be a peaceful time at our house. It's pathetic. Many women inject THEMSELVES with MULTIPLE medications every day, but I'm scared to death. Just watching the how to video makes me nauseous. Ughhh. Is there like a preparatory course for IVF where you learn not to be a baby?
I go in tomorrow for my mid-cycle scan. After reading all of your comments, I fell justified in emailing my doctor last Wednesday. Sadly, I never heard back. I called on Friday to speak with my nurse only to find out that she's on vacation until next Monday. So I have no further information. I'm just praying that everything works out. Tonight in dose 5 of Femara plus the 75iu of Follistim. Hopefully, I'll learn more tomorrow.
I'm praying for small things right now. Things like 1- I don't need another injection (owww!), and 2- I don't need another mid-cycle check (money, money, money), and 3- that I have 2-3 beautiful follicles, not 1, not 4. I'll pray for the big things (like a freaking positive pregnancy test) later. One step at a time. I don't think it's honestly even set in yet that we are doing another IUI. I have zero nerves, zero excitement, zero anything really. My only emotion has been annoyance at not having enough information (I like information). I don't know if the lack of emotion is a good thing or if it means I simply have no faith in this process.
Regardless, onward we go. It's a brave new world out there full of vials and needles and sharps containers. I'd really like to stop right here at the threshold of this brave new world and never need to go any further. I'll let you know how it goes!
Congrats on getting through the first injection! Sending many prayers that all you want for this cycle happens!
ReplyDeleteIt does get easier...but let's hope you don't need to find that out :)
ReplyDeletePraying for you girl! You have been on my mind today! I am with you and never done any shots, so admire you for sure!! Look forward to hearing how the scan goes tomorrow! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteHopefully it will just get easier and easier :) I used to be TERRIFIED of needles. I would schedule flu shots and then nearly have anxiety attacks in the days leading up to them, and those are nothing! Then once I started going to the fertility doctor and having to get blood drawn all the friggin' time, it really stopped bothering me. Hoping that becomes the case for you soon!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that this was your one and only injection... That you don't need to have another scan and that you have the exact right amount of beautiful follies :). Thinking of you, girl!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI would totally freak about the shots, too, and they are also a huge deterrent to IVF for me!! Ugh. I hope everything goes well this week and that you at least get to chat w/ ol' Scotty Scott about your protocol!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, no. freaking. way. I nearly pass out every time a NURSE gives me a shot, I can't imagine giving MYSELF one (or letting Kyle give me one)! Hoping your appointment goes well today and that Sam had a great first day of work yesterday!
ReplyDeleteUgh can I get an AMEN?? My mouth has been dry for three days thinking about my injections. The IM injection my husband has to give me? Panic mode. We can cheer each other on. I get it. I really do.
ReplyDeleteAt least you should have "some" comfort that you have doctor "Sam" injecting you!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I can vouch for the theatrics - who can forget the day you came home from kindergarten and explained in great detail how an alligator (a.k.a. lizard) with really sharp teeth and a HUGE mouth almost ate you for lunch! :) You keep me laughing - always have - always will! Love you,
The needles are really tough. You're not a baby. It's legitimately hard. I will say this though - I used to literally pass out any time I got a shot. But then...infertility and IVF and a clotting disorder that required me to give myself two shots/day throughout my pregnancy. Now I'm a pro. I never thought I'd overcome that fear/physical reaction, but I did. And you TOTALLY can too.
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