The days are long, but the years are short.
My church just finished up an Andy Stanley series called Future Family. In part five, Andy and his wife, Sandra, discuss parenting. I obviously didn't love the series, nor did I get a ton out of this part. It was kind of a "I bet this is great stuff... Remember to buy this message one day if you're ever a parent." But days after I heard it, this phrase kept coming to my mind. Sandra Stanley says this phrase in reference to parenting, particularly in the early years when it seems like discipline is the only thing you give. She encourages parents to keep a long term view: the days are long, but the years are really, really short.
Then I met with a really wise, beautiful, Godly woman and she said much the same thing, just with different words. She said someday this mess is going to be just a season of life... just a page in our story. It is only right now, in the midst of it, that it seems like this is our whole life.
And if I truly embrace this idea, if I really lived like the years are short, like this time is worth living and living well, then I've got some life changes to make. It's more than just take time to smell the roses, it's take time to love my husband well, to celebrate the life we do have, to spend the money we earn on one another (gasp) rather than just fertility treatments. Living this looks like an occasional dinner out with friends... game nights at our place... a vacation (those exist?).
I feel like this could become my mantra. When I feel overwhelmed by the now, by the immediate need to make HUGE decisions, by the weight of our budget, I need to remember this:
The days are long, but the years are short.
What about you? Can you see the long term, big picture easily, or do you get caught up or bogged down in the now? What would it look like if you believed and lived like the current years are a short chapter in your life?
Oh my god Amanda. I really needed to hear that. So true.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. I do try to remember this and let it affect how I live...trying to squeeze in fun and enjoyment in spite of difficulties. I hate looking back at the first few years of our IF and having literally NO happy memories of weeks and months at a time. What a waste. Even though our circumstances are no different now, I try very hard to make sure that I am actively doing SOMETHING to redeem (most of) the days and months, so that I don't have to look back in 5 years and just see more wasted days and years. I don't even know if that makes sense. I'm rambling. :) Love you, friend.
ReplyDeleteWow, Amanda! What timely words of wisdom. Thank you so much for this post. And YES to game night! I miss those good times at the Greavus!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very beautiful post! Thanks for the reminder to cherish what we have now!
ReplyDeletewww.auntmimi2010.blogspot.com
I think about this very thing all of the time! I try to remind myself to enjoy my Husband and the life we have together every single day but this TTC journey just sneaks its way back in. I try to put it out of my mind and just think it will happen when it's meant to but the reality is also that I am oh so close to 35 so you sort of have to address it still. At the same time, as you said, this minute of our life is so very small in the grand scheme of things.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. I have a hard time making long-term plans (or even short term plans), because I think that I might need the money or that I might be doing fertility treatments, so I don't want "life" to interfere. I totally agree though, that we have to enjoy the life we have - there is so much that can be experienced while we are are waiting for our miracles!
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful mantra and one that I think all of us can relate to! I don't see the big picture easily and totally get caught up in the now. Lately, when I start to get overwhelmed in the now I stop and pray. I think I'll add your line to my daily affirmations. You WILL get your baby. This hard time will pay off. Hang in there, girl!
ReplyDeleteThis is all so true. And that phrase has stuck with me since I heard it years ago. I've only ever heard it in regards to parenting, so I loved your take on it. You're absolutely right - it applies to basically any situation.
ReplyDeleteI want more than anything to believe that we are going to look at these challenges and treasure our marriage and our family that much more. That's SO hard to do in the now sometimes especially when things seem to keep knocking you down. TRUST me. I know that. This is going to definitely pay off for us though. Some how, no doubt in my mind. :) (email coming!)
ReplyDeleteI love this and really want to believe it - that someday I'll look back on this and, in a way, be thankful for what it did give us... a strong(er) marriage and (more) appreciation for eachother. It's just SO hard to think that way when you're dredging through the (really) hard stuff!
ReplyDeleteGood reminder!!! God has a purpose in each day!! No matter how hard it is :) Excited to see how He reveals your story, day by day :)
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post, thank you so much for sharing! It makes me reflect on my own outlook... It is difficult to not get caught up in the now, but we all deserve to relish in the fun things that make us happy. I just have to keep reminding myself that :)
ReplyDeleteWow....that phrase is so true. Every day of fertility treatments seem long, especially the dreaded TWW, but when I look back and realize it's been over 3 years of TTC, that amazes me, because it seems like 3 very fast years. It does make you think....we should probably all slow down a little and really enjoy our present lives.
ReplyDelete