DINK

I'm not big on acronyms... at least not the made up kind to shorten a common phrase. I don't text in a conglomeration of letters that look like a foreign language. I blame it on my age. I missed the deadline for texting in gibberish. It probably has more to do with the fact that I pride myself on my ability to speak (and write) English correctly. Sure I know what LOL means; I'm not that bad. Speaking of LOL, I knew a lady who thought it meant Laugh On Line... I didn't explain that "online" is actually one word. But you know, bless her heart, it kind of makes sense; or at least it did before people started saying LOL. Face palm.

I've gotten off topic... Forgive me, it's a sensitive subject. All of this is to say that I'm the one who sees a conglomeration of letters and I don't even pause; if it doesn't mean Department of Labor or University of Georgia, I google it. I don't have the time nor the energy to decipher what SAHM means (Stay At Home Mom... because I googled it). So one day I was reading a blog when I came across DINK... what a terrible acronym. I googled it to discover that it means Double Income No Kids.

Well people, it's official Sam and I are a DINK family. Today marks the first day of double pay checks. I mean I guess it was official when he started his big fancy job two weeks ago, but today there is proof. Two pay checks will hit our bank account today. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean obviously two pay checks is lovely, and awesome and desperately needed. It's the rest of the phrase I'm not in love with.

I'm profoundly hit by musings and wonderings about how the other half (way more than half) live. Take for instance my morning: This morning a GIANT freaking tarantula was setting up camp in my kitchen. (no, I don't know that it was a tarantula, it was HUGE, and FURRY and that equals tarantula in my book) Sam was already out the door, so I felt I had no option but to save my precious kitty cat's life by killing the monster. I took off my shoe. It was bigger than my shoe. A mental image of missing the spider and it leaping on to my hand drove me to find Sam's shoe. I live with Big Foot, so I knew that his shoe should offer more protection. I counted to three and whacked it. And it EXPLODED! Oh my FREAKING GOSH a BILLION baby tarantulas started crawling, scurrying, jumping, skittering EVERYWHERE! WORST NIGHTMARE EVER! Now before all of you Tree Huggers and One With Nature-ers tell me that it's what I deserve for killing a harmless spider... cool your jets. I went to an elementary school where we sang about Mother Earth, we celebrated Earth Day like it was Christmas, and our mascot was the Earth Force. I was brainwashed as a child to think littering deserves capital punishment, along with the killing of any animal. We've all got to coexist you know? 99% of that settled into my soul. The 1% that did not stick is the don't kill bugs... wasps, hornets, yellow jackets, cockroaches, and SPIDERS that are IN MY HOUSE deserve to D-I-E. I save worms on the sidewalk, so give me a break, okay?

But in my fairytale, rose colored glasses, I assume that the other half, all ye with a baby on the hip and a toddler in the pack n' play NEVER have bugs. Kids repel bugs, right? Your life is so awesome. Allison, you don't count: you (apparently) live in the Cockroach Capital of the World.

Also, did you read Jennifer Hatmaker's blog? Her summer sounds AMAZING! She packs more into one summer with her kids than I have done in my whole twenty-seven years. She does mystery Thursday's... they camp on trampolines... they go fishing! Summer is so... yawn when you're a double income family with no kids (unless of course you're a teacher... you're a separate breed). I mean sure you might schedule a vacation to the beach, you might have a pool to chill in on the weekends, but there's no constant, everyday is a new day, excitement for Summer. It's work, just like the other three seasons except it's hotter. Lame.

In my fairytale world, Summer is full of the best days of your life. Kids are never bored. You go to Disney World EVERY YEAR. The pool is always crystal clear and sparkling and the perfect temperature. Life is beautiful.

So today, I celebrate that two pay checks hit the bank. Don't get too excited... all of those dollars have a home already and none of them are called Vacation or even Date Night. But still, it's a VERY GOOD thing. But I also mourn that a terrible acronym now describes us... but maybe not forever!