Another Year Gone

It's a little surreal, but today is our fourth anniversary! I swear it seems like it was just a few months ago that I was writing about our third anniversary! I guess it's really true what they say: the days are long, but the years are short. There have been some really, really long days this past year. Days that I'm content never to repeat. But last night, as I read back through the previous years' anniversary posts (here, here, and here), I was pleased to see how how much we've done, how far we've come, and how much we've learned. Last year I was looking ahead to our fourth year of marriage. On that day, I was excited about:

• Sam will accept an offer TODAY for his first job as a physical therapist.
• We will move OUT of my mom's house and IN to a house in Athens
• I will get a job (the odds are high within a year, right?)
• We WILL pay for IVF
• We might get pregnant
• And if we're really, really blessed, we might buy a house within the next year.

And don't you know, we actually did almost all of the above except buy a home, (and the obvious one) but as we had our home inspection this morning, we came very, very close to sneaking that one in too. And honestly, I'd forgotten it was even a goal until last night! 

There is certainly one GIANT thing missing that we were desperately hoping for out of year four: a bring home baby or a solid pregnancy. Obviously that didn't work out like we were hoping despite saving and paying for IVF. It's really easy to start grading the years based on the one thing we're missing. When it's the one thing you spend all your time and money on for an entire year, it really feels like a failed year when that one thing doesn't work out. But the truth is, we've had a good year. We both got jobs, we moved to Athens, we completed our goal and paid for IVF (and an FET) without debt, and we're hoping to buy a home soon. Sure, this year would have been just about perfect if the IUI, or IVF, or FET had worked, but they didn't… it doesn't change what we did do, what we did accomplish.

There seems to be a general theme the least few years as I've recapped the previous year… sadness and hope. Sadness for what has gone before and hope for what might come tomorrow. That pretty much sums up this year as well. Marriage is about for better or for worse. Our for worse is most certainly infertility… it's a repeat theme year after year. And I'm not sure when or if that will ever change, but I'm still so incredibly thankful that we have each other. The worse is significantly better than it could be when you're with the one you love and you can support each other.

So Happy Anniversary to my best friend! I feel abundantly blessed to call you my husband! I'm looking forward to year five and hoping for better and brighter days with you!

April 3, 2010: Courtesy of the*Reason

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:7