I'll offer a quick disclaimer that this isn't going to be a witty, life changing, heck, probably even interesting post. I'm shamelessly using my blog space to reach out to my fellow infertile friends.
Essentially, I'm trying to come up with a list of questions to ask at each of our upcoming cousultations. I want these questions to be helpful in the decision making process. I want to leave these appointments with clarity. I want to feel good about thi decision. Sadly, a big part of the decision may be about finances, but I still want to feel good about the decision, you know? Feel confident in the care I'll receive. Feel like we're giving ourselves a fighting chance. I've been trying to make a list of questions, and this is what I've come up with:
- Can you help me get pregnant?
It's not actually
that bad. But it's close. Typically I'm all about the questions. I've got pages. Listed in order from most impartant to least. It's color coded. I'm not really sure why when the BIGGEST DEAL EVER is looming in front of me, I can't come up with questions, but I can't. So I figure those of you who have walked this walk might have some insight into this. Seriosuly if you can think of ANYTHING that I should ask before committing to a clinic and doctor for IVF, let me know. If there is something you wish you'd asked, wish you'd known beforehand, let me know. Should I ask about protocol? Hidden fees? Timeline? I'm so confused. If you have a great idea for making this decison beside eeny, meeny, miny, mo, you can share that too. If you haven't been through IVF, what would you want to know before signing on the dotted line and handing over the check?
Give me your wisdom, your insight, your stories.
We have not walked the IVF walk yet but I know I would want a clinic that 'cares'. A place where they call when they say they will. A knowledgeable staff that can set your mind at ease in a prompt caring manner. I don't know how you ask that. I don't know if you can. Maybe it's more of a vibe and feeling you would get. Sorry that wasn't more helpful.
ReplyDeleteHere are a few questions I asked my RE's (I took out most of the ones related to DOR since that isn't your issue...I hope this helps. :)
ReplyDeleteSART data...why have they had such good success or why have they had so many failures. Get a true understanding of what all has gone into the data you find online.
What are their cycle cancelation guidelines?
What additional tests would they recommend? Will the RE order a beta-3 integrin biopsy if you request even though you do not have a history of endo? Endometriosis can be completely symptomless … so, if you want it, you should be able to have the test if it will ease your mind! It is your money [I do not think it is covered by insurance typically] after all!
What are their thoughts on EPP, testosterone priming, saizen [HGH], etc. for DOR patients?
Will they recommend ICSI, AH, or other means of improving your odds [albeit at a higher cost] - and why / why not?
If you only have 2 or 3 embryos available after fertilization at Day3-ish will they recommend a Day3 transfer or will they insist on pushing to Day5+? Why / why not?
Do they do Day3 transfers only? Why?
Do they do Day5 transfers only? Why?
Do they recommend CCS,PGD or PGS testing? When [i.e., what is their criteria for recommending? How many failed cycles do they typically see before recommending? Etc.]? Why / why not?
What are your post-transfer instructions? Do you advocate bed rest? How long? Acupuncture? When? How much? How often are E2 and P4 checked leading up to and after FETs?
Will the RE prescribe progesterone even if your levels appear to be normal? Progesterone supplementation harms nothing and can prevent m/c.
Do you perform doppler ultrasounds to determine uterine blood flow?
What supplements do you recommend in preparation for IVF? Why? If the RE does not mention specific supplements you are curious about: why not?
What is the RE's position or opinion regarding auto-immune testing?
Is the RE willing to listen to your ideas regarding protocol [entire protocol and/or tweaking RE protocol]?
Can you email your doctor/nurse directly? This was HUGE to me. I hated an RE office where the only option was leaving a voicemail during business hours.
Good luck!! I know you'll get lots more ideas and have a great list of questions. You're going to be on information overload! :)
Better yet, just get Suzanne to come to your appointment with you!! I think I want to take her to all of my future appointments! Those are great questions!
DeleteHaha!! Thanks Erika!! I took this straight from my list I had typed up earlier in the year. Also looks like I forgot to remove one of the DOR questions. Sorry!
DeleteDitto to Erika's comment.... Suzanne really just about covers it!! ;)
DeleteWow, this is a great list, Suzanne. Pretty much got everything!
DeleteAwesome list Suzanne! Now I know what to ask for my IVF consult.
DeleteGosh, I'm trying to think of what I would have wanted to know before starting the process. I agree with Suzanne regarding supplements and/or acupuncture, etc. What are some of the "practices" you can put in place today to better prepare yourself for success? Again, like Suzanne said, what communication method is the doctor/nurse going to use? I email my nurse all the time; big questions, little questions. What is the timeline? That one is huge for me. I don't want to rush things and do them the wrong way, but goodness, I don't want to wait months and months in between treatment cycles (although we all pray it works the first time). What are the monitoring times? You will go to the doctor a ton during your stim cycle. My clinic does monitoring from 6:45 to 9 so it doesn't interfere with work at all. Sometimes I feel like an inconvenience asking all my questions/wanting to know everything (I know ... ridiculous ... I pay thousands to feel like an inconvenience). But I think most women in this situation want to know every single detail. Is your treatment team okay with that? Will they over-communicate with you (in a good way)? You are depending on these people ... giving them a lot of control. Are they going to take care of you? Amanda, I pray that when you and your husband walk into THE clinic that you will know where you belong. After all the success rates and treatment plans are "said and done," are these people going to take care of you? Some specialists "get it." They speak our language. Others - not so much.
ReplyDeleteI think pretty much everything has been covered here, but I will add something on the financial end. I asked for EVERYTHING in writing and kept prodding to see if there were any additional fees not listed specifically in their quote which there were a few. I then asked for the worst case scenario on all these fees and plugged them into our budget. Ask about how much they charge for storing and freezing any additional embryos for future FETs as well. :)
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I don't want to be the Debby-downer, but I just wanted to let you know my thoughts. No matter what answer you get. No matter if you have the best doctor in the world. No matter what meds you use. God is the one in control. We had to best RE we could ever imagine, we had 3 amazing OB's, we had the top CDH doctor in the world and the outcome was still not what we wanted. Yes we are able to say we did everything we possibly could and it was simply God's plan, but don't stress yourself out about asking the right questions or getting the right doctors. Just pray about it and do what you feel is best for you two. God is in control and His plan is what will happen regardless of what you decide. Basically I am saying don't worry about the tiny details, just jump, the outcome is already decided. (Sorry if this makes no sense!)
ReplyDelete