Patiently Waiting

So I'm sorry for abandoning you all after writing the last post to worry that I might be sad, depressed, etc. I'm not. I promise, I'll let you know if I'm in bad place... in general you can just assume I'm being my regular, dramatic self. I'm actually doing pretty good in terms of spirit. I mean, we've even had a couple of days of sunshine in Georgia, so I decided to wait on purchasing that row boat. I guess my title choice was a little strong last post(?!?!)... I mean yes, I am failing at a lot of things, but my attitude it more "whatev" than "I suck". I'm in a "go with the flow" kind of place. Sterling ended up at the vet this past weekend, blew our budget out of the water, and I just paid it... life happens.

We're kind of in a stalling pattern these days. We've got some tentative plans, but nothing has really been decided. Typically I'd be all "got to go faster, can't wait one more second, if I fake a massive bleed, can I see the doctor today?", but instead I'm pretty chill. If I had $10,000 sitting in my bank account, I'm sure I'd be FREAKING OUT about the delay, but as I currently don't have even half of that, I figure a month or two delay won't kill us. We've got two appointments currently set up... we're taking some PTO to knock these guys out... crazy vacation, woo, woo! We're seeing Dr. Slayden (current RE at ExpensoIVF aka RBA) and Dr. Massey. If you've been a looonnnggg time reader, you may remember that we saw Dr. Massey over six months ago. This is where the Saga of the Phantom Fibroid got started... but it's also where I can get IVF for $6,975 including ICSI. I figure it's worth another appointment to see how we feel about the clinic, process, etc.

I'm not really looking forward to either of these appointments to be honest. I think they are both going to be tough. I love Dr. Slayden, but I'm going to have to be really honest with him... no sunshine and roses, I need reasons for the falling success rates and reasons for the jacked up prices if I'm going to continue in his care. The other appointment doesn't sound too fun either. I figure it'll go something like this, "So Doc, last time you said there was a large fibroid on my uterus, well I'm here to tell you that there's not. I've got the photos of my insides to prove it." Essentially, I want to know what corners they are cutting to offer IVF at that cost, and what kind of doctor/patient/nurse interraction I can expect. Who knows, it may be that other clinics are simply making bank... sending their kids to Princeton and driving a Porsche to work each day.

Beyond these two polar opposites, we're investigating other clinics still. I'm really interested in one that was recommended to me in Florida called FIRM. It seems like it might be the best of both worlds... a large clinic that has state of the art facilities and all the sciencey stuff needed, but they offer IVF at a much more reasonable better price. The glitch is that the have no data with SART... I'm not sure how big of a deal that is. Does this make them super sketchy?

Anyway, I think the plan is to speak to both of the Atlanta clinics (August 26). From there, based on what we learn, we will decide whether we want to pursue additional consults at other clinics like ACRM, FIRM, or PREG. While I'd love to go have a consultation at every possible candidate, at $100-250 a pop, the consults add up and simply set us further back financially. Hopefully once we have made the decision of where to cycle, we will be able to decide on a payment option. I currently feel like this: cheap(er) clinic- save until we can pay in full in cash, ridiculously overpriced clinic- continue to save until D-day, take out a  small freaking enormous loan to cover the rest. I'm giving myself until the end of the year to get this crap figured out. By then, I want to have a plan in place, a month picked out, etc. because it's time... I'm in the most patient place I've ever been in this journey, but it's not going to last forever!