Flustered, Frustrated, Furious

Well, IVF appointment round 1 was a DISASTER! Ughhhhh! What an afternoon/evening! I told Sam on the way to the appointment that I felt out of sync. The time since finding out about the failed IUI has just allowed my brain to become mush. Instead of feeling engaged and active, I felt benched and out of the loop. I had made an extensive list of questions as always, but still not very confident.

And then the insanity ensued. We were concerned about Atlanta traffic at 5:30, so we left pretty early. Traffic was actually great, so we got there with 45 minutes to spare. Sam wanted to get a coffee. I was hesitant, but figured we could go 3 miles and back in that time even in traffic. We grabbed some Starbucks, but when we tried to leave, the car wouldn't shift from park. Ahhhhhh! This has happened before, for brief moments, but it always works after a few tries. Alas, not this time. We were stuck for 25 minutes trying to switch gears and reading what to do online. Nightmare! To make matters worse, my appointment was technically after hours, so I couldn't call and explain. We did actually make it to the office (10 minutes late), but needless to say, I was flustered.

The appointment started off horribly. She began with "I think we should take a break." Huh? She said she figured we weren't financially prepared to do IVF (true) and that was that. End of consultation. I think that was the entirety of what she had prepared. Obviously, I got my questions out, and she graciously answered, but I felt like she was half answering and dodging questions the whole time. It almost seemed like she thought the consult was a waste of time since we aren't financially ready to move on.

Basically, we concluded that IVF costs $12,500 per cycle or $25,000 for 2 fresh and 2 frozen (no refund if it fails, no refund if you get lucky round 1) or $30,000ish for 3 fresh and 3 frozen with 70% refunded if you don't take home a baby, but NO refund if you get pregnant round 1 (or 2). Well thank you for the bargain! Cue the frustration!

I get that this is expensive stuff! I really do. But I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. The more we talked (and the more I read after) the more I got the feeling that this is a well oiled money making machine. If your cycle gets cancelled after your baseline, but before you start monitoring, you will be refunded 90%. Sounds great, right? Until you realize that your baseline ultrasound and blood work costs $1200! WHAT!!!!! My baseline has been $485 and that's one of the most expensive I've heard of.

I read somewhere online that Atlanta is one of the most expensive cities in the country (if not THE most expensive) for IVF procedures. I'm starting to believe it. Keep in mind that the $12,500 does not include meds or additional procedures like ICSI or assisted hatching. Ahhhhhh!

When Sam and I left, we were both bummed. It wasn't a very informative or helpful consultation. The more we talked the more furious I became. My doctor talked about people going into life-long debt, taking out home equity loans, medical loans, credit card loans, like it was nothing. It was so cold, so clinical. So matter of fact. Now I get that she has to make money. Believe me, the husband and I understand college loans, particularly the med school variety. She'll probably be paying for her student loans forever, but really, have a heart.

I remember being little and my dad (a dentist) would be soooo upset over his patient's financial conditions. He would do "favors" and work for free all the time. All the time. And my dad isn't even all that nice. But he earnestly cared about his patients and couldn't handle the idea that a patient would want treatment, but couldn't have it, based on finances. I'm not looking for a freebie, but lets be reasonable. I'm not here to personally finance your monthly mortgage, car, and student loan payments.

The real FURIOUS part came as we discussed all the times we've spent hours fighting for refunds from them. Currently, we are fighting a $120 bill (that my insurance already paid) and for a $500 refund for bills that my insurance covered after the fact. I feel like I have to suit up for war to deal with their finance people. Zero customer service available. Shouldn't they be groveling at my feet to win the chance to perform IVF on me. If you want $12,500+ from me, at least graciously handle my small potatoes (to you) refunds.

Hopefully, the other appointments will go better. We go to a "low-cost" clinic on Monday. I have no idea how that will turn out, but we felt like it was certainly worth an hour of our time to learn about all our options. And at the very least, kudos to those doctors for giving a darn.