Christmas Time Again

So another Christmas has come and gone… eight of them with my husband. Kind of crazy. We're still celebrating just the two of us. Kind of depressing. But we will circle back to that.

We had a lovely Christmas morning this year. Normally we are stressed out of our minds, racing around, and inevitably running late. This year, my mom's family decided the all day marathon event they have had in the past was wearing a little thin. We stayed home and had a lovely brunch with my brother, his girlfriend and their baby at mom's. I received lots of fabulous gifts… we'll focus on two.

My mom is obviously interested in another grand baby. Apparently, she thinks this will help:

Victoria's Secret + Ovulation Pregnancy Kit = BABY

Actually, my mom fully understands that this won't be the secret to success, but it was a super funny gift. She packed the matching bra and panties in the same box with the OPK's… a baby making treasure box. Hilarious. And a fabulous gift too because as I discussed in an early post, my bras don't fit. Plus, I used almost an entire box of OPK's this month… still no positive. UGHHHH! Back to that later.

Gift number two, was from my wonderful husband… a trip to the BILTMORE ESTATE in Asheville, NC. I've been asking to go for years.

Tickets to Biltmore… yay!

I've been missing from the blogging world because, well I've been busy living and loving life with the hubs. We just got back today. We had a wonderful time. The Biltmore was lots of fun. We spent the afternoon walking the grounds, exploring the shops, and imagining what the gardens looked like in bloom. The good news? Sam got an incredible deal so we have two more tickets to go back again this year. We ended up going to the "Candlelight" tour in the evening. I have requested a 7 story ceiling so that I can have a humongo tree. Sam said he'll get right on that. 

We suck at getting pictures of us, so it's just me, freezing my tail off.

After surviving Christmas (holy moly) and the awesome trip I just had with my husband, I'm seriously contemplating a vacation for next Christmas. Christmas was waaayyyy worse this year than last. Last year I had lost my baby, but I was healing. There were two pregnant ladies in the family… I thought it couldn't get much worse. I was wrong. I spent three evenings in a row leading up to Christmas with family and kids. I was holding up fairly well. And then Christmas occurred. I showed up at a Christmas dinner to an explosion of kids… where did they all come from? We went from no one under the age of 10, to seven under 8 in the blink of an eye. I cried on the way home from two Christmas festivities this year… it's not a fun way to celebrate and doesn't feel particularly festive. You may remember that my doctor gave "doctor's orders" to take care of myself, do what I needed to do to survive. If we are still in the same place next year, we may do just that. Christmas alone, but happy seems better than Christmas surrounded by family, but reminded every moment of what's missing. I guess we'll see.

I'm currently having a ca-ra-zy cycle. I mean crazy. I had just decided that my body was working perfectly, and then bam! Worst - cycle - ever. I went in for a mid cycle check on CD 12 and I had a 14mm follicle. They assumed that I would ovulate on my own the Sunday before Christmas, CD 16. Well, it's CD21, and I haven't gotten a positive OPK yet.  Ughhh. But wait, it gets better. Check out the chart…

December 2012 BBT chart

I have a follow-up appointment with the doctor, but I couldn't get in until January 29. By then I'll have started another cycle. Blughhh. I don't know why that matters. I'm not doing treatments. I'm saving for IVF. I guess my head is still set it treatment mode. Got to move on.

Anyway, hope you all had wonderful, cheerful, merry, and bright Christmases! 2012 was good to some of my fellow infertiles. Head over to Lisa, Amanda, Jen, Amanda, Belle, Bree's blogs and tell them congratulations and best wishes that 2013 sees all these babies come home to loving arms. For the rest of us, may 2013 be our year!