Let's just get this over with: I'm gaining weight. Ughhhh. I'm not going to talk scale numbers here, because everyone's ideal number is different. And the specific number isn't the point, it's the changes that are occurring. Since I started hanging out with Sam in 2005, I've gained 25% of my then weight. Now, let me be real honest here; I was underweight then. It was my freshman year in college. I was waaayyy to poor to eat out, none of my friends lived anywhere near me on campus, and I only had a microwave in the apartment. It wasn't unusual for me to eat lunch on campus and then skip dinner for some snacks around the apartment instead of going out to eat alone or riding the lovely campus buses for 20 minutes to eat with friends. In addition, my high school romance had ended; food wasn't my highest priority.
The bigger issue is that since marrying Sam, in 2010 mind you, I've gained 16%. Meaning take my weight on my wedding day and add 16% to that and you will find my current weight. It's been just over two and a half years. I couldn't fit into my wedding dress if I had 10 pairs of spanx, a corset, and a team of helpers. Seems kind of rapid to me. Where did this weight come from? I have some hunches:
- I married a foodie. I'm cool with cereal for dinner. My husband's favorite store in the mall is Williams & Sonoma. I would never cook for one. He makes himself crazy complicated breakfast and lunch dishes all of the time. He also thinks that because I can eat as much as him means that I should.
- I'm getting older. I thought this was something that happens at 40 or 50, but maybe 26 is the new 40. Maybe my metabolism took a nosedive a smidge earlier than I anticipated.
- Sedentary life. In college I sat a lot. Classes, art projects, bus rides, basketball games… but I at least walked some. I had to get my butt around campus, and sometimes, at UGA, it's honestly easier to walk then wait for Orbit. But post college, what jobs I have had consisted of sitting allllll daayyyyy. And being jobless is not as motivating to hit the elliptical as you might think.
- Infertility. I don't honestly know what, if any, effect the medications I've taken have had. Most of the weight was already there, but lots of people say that fertility medications cause weight gain.
- Depression. It's a vicious cycle. You eat because you're bummed, then you're bummed because you're jeans don't fit, so you eat. I've noticed that I tend to give myself free reign after my period starts. Want a whole box of Publix chocolate chip cookies, Amanda? Go ahead, you deserve it. You're life is pathetic and you're uterus hates you. And then I also indulge in Starbucks, and cake, and brownies, and ice cream. You get the picture.
What a lot of people don't know about me is that I was heavy before. I was always a very thin child, but in middle school I was dealing with a lot of depression and I was put on some medication. I put on thirty pounds in one summer. Before I knew it, I was about sixty pounds heavier. Needless to say, I went off the medication; it was obviously not the right one for me. But the weight loss took a lot longer than the weight gain. High school was a pretty crazy transformation. I went to my freshman homecoming dance in a size 10 and my senior prom in a size 2.
After losing the weight, I really did NOTHING to manage it. I ate what I wanted when I wanted it, and I had no changes in weight. I was one of those girls. I put on a few pounds after freshman year when happiness returned to my life, but after that I stayed the exact same for years (and years), And then BAM! My clothes don't fit, the scale is broken, and my body looks way different than I remember.
Last week, as I was getting dressed and trying to shove my boobs into my bra, Sam noticed it was a bit too much of a task. Sam said, "I think you need a new bra". Ummm… no I don't. I've been the same size for 10 years. Believe me, these girls don't change. I looked in the mirror. Ewwww, I have side boob. And my girls barely fit within the confines. Okay, so maybe I do need a new bra.
Armed with thirty dollars in coupons, I headed to Victoria's Secret. I found the cheapest bra I could and snatched one in a larger size: one cup size up. Upon entering the dressing room, I changed bras, but I barely looked any different. Right about then, one of those pesky ladies with a tape measure around their necks knocked. I poked my head out to ask if this bra runs small. "No, can I take a peek?" she asks. Sure why not, it's just boobs. Half of Atlanta has seem my hoo-haa. She comes in and says, "well, I think we need a few more inches". So let me get this straight, not only do I need a larger cup, but more inches too? I tried in on, and voilà, no more side boob. Squishy back fat was minimized as well. I was sorely tempted to replace all of my too small bras with comfortable options, but then I realized that I am not okay with this gradual increase in pants size, bra size, scale display. My body is changing, and while it's not drastic, I know that as my body shifts, my body image can too. It's time to head this thing off before it gets out of control.
I got all amped up to lose allllll these pesky pounds, and then I remembered a BMI index sheet from one of my doctors. It is a generic sheet telling you where you should be as far as BMI for optimal fertility. It also explains at which points they will refuse medications or other procedures. I found my height, and yep, I'm in the "healthy BMI". I looked across the chart at the lowest possibility, and well, it's more than my initial goal. For my height, they don't want me to weigh less than 132 pounds. So that's my goal. I don't know what size of pants or bra I'll be at that weight, but after my mom's bake a hundred sweets a day season, I'm on a mission to safely and wisely lose 9% of my current body weight. Stay tuned for future posts about how this is to be accomplished.
I, too, had a gradual weight gain starting when I was about 26, that has risen until now (31). Part of it I'm sure was my body still changing (growing hips), but a lot was due to becoming foodies, having a sedentary job, and infertility (clomid, stress eating). Recently I've resolved to really take steps to bring it down since I weigh the most I EVER have. We've been eating paleo (basically grain-free) all month, and that has been a good start. For me, the hardest is to stop snacking at night time when we cuddle up and watch TV by the fire. Good luck! I'll be checking back for any tips you share.
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