A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

A dream is a wish your heart makes,

When you're fast asleep,

In dreams you lose your heartaches,

Whatever you wish for, you keep.

Have faith in your dreams and someday,

Your rainbow will come smiling through,

No matter how your heart is grieving,

If you keep on believing,

The dream that you wish will come true.
                     -Cinderella

In perfect Disney fashion, Cinderella kind of missed the mark here. I love Disney movies, probably more than any childless 26 year old should, but lets get real. This is just one more occasion where children were fed "you can be anything you want to be" lies. That last bit, "if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true": uh huh, sure. No, believing in some things won't change the reality of the world. I think my generation got fed a bit too much of the Cinderella story. Not every girl has little birdies to keep her company, or fairy godmothers, or magical pumpkins. Life isn't fair. 

But that is a cynical post for another day. That first part, about losing your heartaches in dreams, that, I can totally get onboard with. Lately, when I dream, I'm pregnant (bliss). Sometimes it's obvious due to my giant, protruding belly, and sometimes its simply intuition because the dream has nothing to do with babies, but I just know. Cue the alarm. Heartache. I'm not pregnant. That was just a dream. Boo.

A lot of the dreams center around finding out that I'm pregnant (obviously test day is looming). I've been kind of wondering, daydreaming about what that would look like and feel like. I know how the last BFP felt: heaven. I'm like a druggy just trying to find the "first time feeling". All the subsequent tests (BFN's) have been downers; they're just not the same. Haha. 

I wonder how I'll tell people, when I'll tell people, what I'll feel. These are SUPER daydreams to have. I think I probably look like an idiot during them: staring off into space with a big goofy smile on my face. It's pure heaven to imagine my dream coming true. But we're not there yet, we're in the "your heart is grieving" stage of things. So in the meantime, I'll just keep on dreaming.