Sitting Pretty in the Midst of Adoption

It's been a while since I've updated about the adoption, so I figured now is as good of time as any! I wish I had tons and tons of secret info that I'd been hiding away for a big announcement but, well , really I haven't been updating because there's not much to say. I feel pretty frustrated when I think about it and overwhelmed if I dwell on it, so I choose the really mature option and watch Gilmore Girls reruns rather than think about adoption.

I feel like we missed out on a pretty good window back in October and November. During those two months we were seeing A LOT of cases, like between two and five a week. But we weren't ready to put our names forward yet because we were still finalizing our home study. One of the most frustrating parts is that we did complete our home study in October, but we didn't get the paperwork we needed for three and half weeks. It really seems like we got our paperwork, applied for the one situation, and then everything ground to a complete halt. We've been seeing about one to two (or less) cases a week since then, and for all intents and purposes, it's basically none because those we have seen have been so expensive... $38,000 for a stork drop last week, $55,000 for twins due later in January. In total, we've seen about five cases in the last four months that have been within out budget. I typically skim the cost analysis, see the total number and then delete the email... what in the world am I supposed to do with numbers like that?

We were told that the end of the year, with all of the holidays, is typically very slow in the adoption world. And man, that was the truth. It's now two weeks after the first of the year and we have seen a few cases come though, so maybe things will begin to speed up a bit now. It still feels like a slow time in general. It appears we missed a good time in the fall and now we'll have to wait it out. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't frustrated. Just about everyone we spoke with that used our adoption consultant was matched within five months of working with her... many brought their babies home within that time. We have also chosen to pay a little bit of extra money in order to become clients of two attorneys, one in Florida and one in Oklahoma. They were both referred to us from our adoption consultant, but we've yet to see any cases from either of them... it's just silent out there.

However, despite the lack of movement in getting matched, we're doing pretty well in other areas. Fundraising is going pretty well, for which I'm out of my mind with thankfulness. Towards the end of the year, we got a few really unexpected donations from supporters. You guys, people I haven't seen or spoken to since high school have donated. Cue sobs and uncontrollable ugly cries. We also had a really fantastic fundraiser back in November where one of Sam's patients offered to make wreaths for the front door and sell them. She donated all of her time, which was about the sweetest thing ever. And get this, we ended up getting $3,400 from that fundraiser. Be still my heart. Who would have thought?

So far, we've raised $15,927 and sold 630 puzzle pieces. That's 370 left to go. Eeeek! Speaking of the puzzle, it's done. We actually finished putting it together several weeks ago; I've just been dragging on getting the names on the back. It's a pretty tedious process, but I think it's going to look pretty cool when it's all done (I hope).

The back of the puzzle with a very measly number of names filled in.

If you add in the money that Sam and I have put in, we're at a total of $19,421. Our original goal was for this adoption to cost about $30,000. Truth be told, I'm currently hoping to stay under $35,000 as I'm seeing our expenses continue to add up, but we're not actually any closer to bringing a baby home. We were pretty close to running out of time with You Caring (it was set to expire on January 15th), but I contacted them and got an extension, so now we're set to expire on March 15th.

In other news, I made the most insane purchase of my life... a rocker. More specifically a rocker for the NURSERY. I feel like a woman possessed... who took hold of my body? Honestly, the nursery is 50% done in theory... we've picked out a crib, dresser, rocker, and bedding. I figure that amounts to at least 50%, right? Now that I sit here with an empty email inbox, and no sign of a match in sight, it feels a bit rash (understatement of the year).

When we submitted for the first baby back in November, I was really surprised by the time frame... just five days until the due date. It was a complete shock. And since then, we've seen more and more situations that have had a really quick time frame. Some where the baby is already born and others where the due date is just a day or two away. These scenarios were really not what I was expecting... I figured we'd have at least a month or more. As I began to think about the reality that things can change in the adoption world in the blink or an eye, I decided that I might at least need an idea of what I wanted to do for the nursery... a general plan so that I wasn't needing to make decisions and search for a crib in a frantic moment.

So one weekend in December, mom and I set out to go look at nursery furniture. It was quite an odd experience. At every single store the subject came up of my flat stomach. "Oh my, you're so tiny," she'd exclaim. "Getting an early start, huh?" he'd ask. Even after I said I was adopting and wanted to see pieces that wouldn't take half a year to arrive (did you know that some baby furniture is a 12-16 week order time?!?) I'd still get comments about my flat stomach. I was mostly just overwhelmed by the whole process and the 10,000 options, so the comments were really the least of my worries. I do think a T-shirt might be called for on my next trip out. I'm thinking "My stomach is washboard flat only slightly pudgy because there's no baby in this belly. We're adopting!" would work.

After quite a bit of deliberation and math, I think we've made our choices. We're not getting it yet, because hello, as all the salespeople so often pointed out, my stomach is super flat... no baby in the belly, and no baby on the horizon. But we went ahead and bit the bullet and ordered the rocker because, well, rockers/gliders are next to impossible to find that even semi-fit Sam and his 6'9 frame. But also, we got a great deal! The rocker that we LOVE is on sale for $100 off right now, and we had a 15% off coupon, AND $75 in reward points that expire this month. It seemed financially wise to go ahead and purchase rather than waste the savings opportunity, don't ya' think?

So that's where we sit... and if we don't have a baby by mid February, I'll literally be sitting in that rocker. That or the sight of it will drive me to hysterics and I'll have to cover it with a sheet... you know another really mature way of dealing with the hard stuff. Continue to hope and pray with us that the right opportunity, within our financial abilities, comes through soon!