Today I went in for "day 3's". Basically a slew of blood work and an ultrasound. My results are all great for the most part. I'm just barely over the normal range for AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) which does technically put me in the PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) category, but barely. My ultrasound however showed only 15-16 follicles. 6 on one side and 9-10 on the other. Slightly high, but still in a great range! So I'm cleared for beginning treatment. The plan is a round of Clomid with an
IUI (Intrauterine Insemination).
I will admit that today I was kind of frustrated, but I
think this is just the nature of the beast. I went in with no idea what to
expect, but with expectations none the less. I had so many questions, so many
worries. My appointment lasted about 14 minutes start to finish. They stabbed
my arm, stole my blood, patched me up and then sent me to a room to disrobe for
the ultrasound. A doctor I hadn't met came in with a resident who performed my
ultrasound. She was super nervous, so I'm guessing her rotation had just
started. Nevertheless, it was over in about three minutes. We shook hands and
said nice to meet you. He said someone would call with instructions later, and
that was it. Done. There was no consultation, no q and a, just hi, bye, and
here's your bill.
I was kind of upset, questioning if we'd made the right
decision, thinking to myself, "I'm sure glad this wasn't one of my
emotional days." My OB/GYN in Augusta had been so amazing, so caring, so personable.
He called me all the time personally to check in, and always spent tons of time
in the office answering my questions. This had been nothing like this. I called
my care coordinator, an RN who is a part of my care team. After talking with
her, I feel much better. She explained that some of the appointments will be
quick and dirty, in and out, just tests. But there will be others in which I
have time to sit down and talk with my doctor and ask all of my questions.
Plus, she answered everything that I had wanted to ask so far. So yay, feeling
much better, after that conversation.
Even after my appointment, my thoughts are kind of all over
the place: fear, frustration, worry, excitement. Obviously the biggest worries
right now are about finances. Starting treatment has almost exactly coincided
with quitting my job. Perfect timing, huh? In reality it is. There was no way I
could have begun treatment while working in Augusta. I had a dentist
appointment turned down three times by managers there. Fertility treatment
isn't one of those things that you can just reschedule. You're either all in or
your wasting your money. So although starting now was intentional, it's also
terrifying. I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty of the finances on the
blog. The decisions we are making for our family are very personal to us. Some
people will think we are crazy to spend this kind of money, others will
"get it" and be committed to spending ten times what we are. If you
are considering treatment and would like any info about the costs (or any other
information) please feel free to contact me. I'm happy to talk with you, it's
just not something I'm comfortable discussing before the whole world.
Starting feels strangely good though. Despite my fears and
frustrations on day one, I'm happy to finally be doing something proactive. The
waiting is over. We have made a plan and we are fulfilling it.
In a slightly reminiscent mood, I also can't help but note
that it was my August cycle last year that we conceived (crazy to think its
almost been a year since losing our little one). I'm not really a
"luck" person, nor am I superstitious, but it does seem somehow
fitting that this August would be the month! Plus I know my mom and Sam would
LOVE a May birth! Haha! Not really, Sam's graduating and mom has her biggest
fundraiser of the year, but hey, we've delayed enough! Let's do this!
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