Reminiscing

It hit me early this week, as I ripped "February" from my desk calendar to see my 24 day countdown until Sam and I leave for our cruise... it has almost been a year since our wedding day. I know, I know I should have seen it coming; the cruise is our one year anniversary celebration, but I don't think I had focused in on the anniversary part of it. It seems absolutely crazy to think that it's almost been a year! The last eighteen months or so have been amazingly fast. I honestly remember the six month mark before our wedding all too clearly: it feels like last month!

In light of the coming anniversary, I can't help but think back on the whirlwind that was the months leading up to the big day. I know every bride probably feels like her own wedding trials are the most distressing or overwhelming, but honestly it seems that Sam and I had more than our fair share of bumps and wrong turns in our journey to the wedding day. We had all the regular distresses and worries: will the bridesmaid dresses fit, will the flower girl walk down the aisle, will I mess up my vows? But we had so much more too.

First off, the rings. I remember every magazine planner saying to buy the wedding rings about 3 months ahead. Well if Sam and I had taken this route, we would have been wedding band-less. Six months out Sam and I went to order our rings. Both of us chose incredibly straight forward, plain bands. Sam's band ended up being fine, no problems. But mine was nothing but problems. After a good six or seven trips to Atlanta and countless different sizes ordered, we came to the conclusion that it wasn't the wedding band but the engagement ring setting that was causing me such problems. Sam loving said that he only wanted me to be happy and that I could trade it if I wanted to. Keep in mind that it's February by this point, less than eight weeks away. I find a setting that will work, agree to fork over the several hundred dollars in difference and leave the jewelry store without my engagement ring. The store wanted to send my ring to the jeweler in New York and have them size the new setting and place the diamond all at once so I wouldn't have any more delays. The following week, Sam got a phone call... The jeweler in New York had lost my engagement ring INCLUDING the diamond. Needless to say, when Sam called, I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. I remember thinking how hard Sam worked to save up for that ring, and POOF it was gone. The jewelry store in Atlanta assured us that it would be replaced so we headed back down to Atlanta to select a new diamond. The New York jeweler graciously comped us the new diamond, the upgraded setting, and my wedding band at no additional charge. But wow! You never expect to be diamond ring less AND wedding band less than 10 weeks before your wedding.

The dress... again WOW! My mom was amazing and diligently spent the summer of my engagement running back and forth all across the metro Atlanta area looking for the perfect dress. When I couldn't find the "perfect" dress we decided to have one made. A very long story short, I ended up with a dress that was NOTHING like my sketches or what we discussed in the design consultations. I wanted to cry. I was soooo upset thinking how many other dresses I passed up on for this one, and yet I liked several of them so much more. Mom knew right away after the last fitting that this was a disaster, and the next morning while I was inwardly moping she wakes up to say "well, where do you want to go look for a new dress?" We had already put a deposit on the custom dress, but mom went to bat for me, cancelled the order without further payment on the basis of the failure to deliver what was asked, and we went shopping again. Amazingly enough, I ended up choosing the first dress I tried on during round two. But ordering a dress three weeks out is supposed to be impossible, so I was adapting to the idea of wearing a sample dress when we heard the great news: there was a dress ordered by a girl in Spain in my size with extra length. Her day was nine months away so they had it shipped straight to Atlanta. After that I had two weeks to figure out undergarments, shoes, and fittings. Somehow, thanks to my AMAZING momma, it all came together...

In the midst of all the wedding drama, Sam and I were patiently (haha) waiting to hear where exactly we would be spending the next several years of our married lives. Now let me tell you, as a type- A personality, with a need to plan, this was TORTURE! I wanted to research apartments, look for jobs, just dream a little, but we had no idea where we were heading, or when, as Sam hadn't heard back from any PT schools with an affirmative. And then we got THE phone call: Emory had accepted Sam. Honestly, I can't explain my pride. I was so overwhelmed. Sam had a very long journey to Physical Therapy school with a lot of let downs and obstacles to overcame, but if there is one defining characteristic of my husband he is committed; he is resilient. The relief we all felt was amazing. I don't think we even knew how much stress we had been carrying until it was lifted: our future was starting and we knew where we were going. For two weeks I spent every moment that I had free from the wedding to research places to live in and around Emory. And then there was a SECOND phone call... Sam got into MCG! With three weeks to go before our wedding we had a decision to make: a big one! And what would the last month of engagement be without at least one good, heated disagreement? Naturally, Sam and I had vastly different opinions about what our decision should be. And to make matters worse we had about 24 hours to decide as an $800 deposit was due to Emory the following day. So who would it be? Emory? Close to home, great connections, great clinical experience, and notoriety. Or MCG? A fraction of the cost. You can probably guess how we aligned. I wanted Emory and all the glory of going to such a prestigious school paired with a great city and ample job opportunities. Sam wanted the smallest bill.

In the end, cost won out... we were headed to Augusta. And a month earlier than expected! We decided after reaching that ultimate decision that we would put all other decisions regarding school on hold until we got back from the honeymoon.

Although they seemed incredibly important at the time, all of these obstacles and decisions would soon take a brutal reality check. With just over a week to go, Sam's family was dealt a shocking blow: Sam's cousin Brandon passed away in an unexpected accident. He was only nineteen years old, far too young. Honestly it was all kind of a blur, the horrible kind. Instead of a whirlwind or parties and luncheons, appointments and packing, the Monday before our wedding we all stood as a family and laid Brandon Kohler to rest. Definitely an incredibly hard and sobering day. Sam's family was amazing and somehow they all managed to partition their grief and their happiness. Despite the incredible sadness of losing a brother, son, grandson, and nephew, his entire family made it to our wedding. Let me tell you, there was NO greater gift to me. As the girl who had one entire half of her family boycott her wedding day, it meant more than anything to me that they would all come to share in our special day despite the gaping whole in all of our hearts.

Thankfully, I can look back now on the crazy months leading up to our wedding with both smiles and tears. It was an incredibly stressful time, one that I wouldn't relive again for sure. Ultimately, I just remember reminding myself of something Mike, our minister told Sam and I, "at the end of the day, no matter what, you're married". And that is truly my take away: that thankfully despite everything that occurred, we made it to and through our wedding day.