Well, he’s here! It’s been several long, hard days for all of us, but we are officially a family of four.
Meet Joel Guang Hua Greavu.
He is the sweetest little love and we can already tell he’s going to fit right into our family. We haven’t seen a ton of his personality yet, but the ayis (caretakers) at his children’s welfare institute described him as mischievous and playful. I imagine several months from now he and Garrison will be adding gray hairs to my head each day.
We arrived in Kunming, the provincial city of Yunnan on Sunday, February 25. In China, you typically meet your child in the provincial city (capital) of the province that the child is from. For us, those were the same thing as Joel was found in Kunming and taken to the local orphanage. It was absolutely surreal flying into the city knowing that this was the same city our boy was in, to know we were just miles away from him.
On Monday, we were expecting to travel to the Civil Affairs office with another family that is here to meet their daughter, but instead we learned that they would bring the babies to our hotel rooms. Such an incredibly long wait that afternoon, but then he was here and in our arms!
The first day was all about trying to help him stay calm and avoid too much fear. We held him, attempted to play with him, fed him. Understandably, he was pretty overwhelmed. We weren’t getting a ton of emotion from him. That evening we got some of our first smiles as Garrison brought a panda he had made at Build-a-Bear for him. They enjoyed tossing it around for a bit before bedtime and it was a great way to end the day.
The following 24 hours after you meet your child are known as the harmonious period in China. During this time, families can go through a procedure to disrupt the adoption before finalizing. After that period, the family completes paperwork to finalize the adoption in China. On Tuesday, we rode to the Civil Affairs office and completed our adoption of Joel and filed for his passport.
It takes several days to get the passport in Yunnan, so we have had several days to spend here. On Wednesday, we visited the Yunnan Nationalities Village. It’s basically a large outdoor space with separate areas for various ethnic minorities in China. It was so interesting! If I hadn’t had two tired, cranky boys in tow, I could have spent the entire day there. The space was gorgeous and it was so neat to see the various styles of architecture and cultural dress for the various ethnic minority groups of China.
Thursday was the hardest day by far. We returned with Joel to the orphanage and drove with our guide to see and document Joel’s finding spot. It was such a comfort to see how well cared for Joel was at the orphanage, but also soooooo hard to see how much he loved his ayis and how much they loved him. Everyone was a puddle of tears. It was a very difficult morning for me to see and know that this was likely the last time he’d ever see the people who cared for him for nineteen months of his life. I can’t really fathom how hard and confusing it was for him to see these two worlds merge. He struggled a lot more on Thursday. Lots and lots of crying. Lots of fear and grief manifesting in different ways. It was an incredibly exhausting day for all of us. I’m so thankful we got the opportunity to go, visit, and document the orphanage, but it was not an easy trip.
Today, we leave Kunming for Guangzhou. This is the city where the US Consulate is and all adopting families end up here to complete the paperwork to leave China with their adopted son/daughter. The child leaves a citizen of China, but when the plane touches down on US soil he/she becomes a citizen of the United States.
Guangzhou is the final leg of this journey. We arrive on Friday and leave the following Friday, so there is still quite a bit of this journey ahead of us. I’ll be honest and say I’m ready to be home. I’m not a great traveler even in the US, but China is next level. I’m incredibly thankful for the opportunity to be here and to soak in as much culture and make as many memories as possible, but I’m also simultaneously really ready to be home. I’m praying that the coming week will be full of opportunities to bond as a family and for Joel to begin to attach with us. Also praying Garrison will make it home without losing his ever-loving mind. : ) Let’s be real; gaining a little brother who can walk and talk and steal your mama over night is HARD!
I've been reading your blog forever - since well before Garrison, but this is my first time commenting! I'm also a mom to a child adopted from China. My daughter is twelve now, but reading about your journey brings back so many memories! I remember so well the feeling of just wanting to GO HOME once we had our daughter. Looking back, though, I have such fond memories of our time in China. And, my daughter and I are going back to China in two weeks so she can experience her birth country. I'm beyond excited for her to see her birth country. We're also going to visit her orphanage. Going back as a tourist this time is so much less stressful than going for adoption :) I can't imagine doing it with another toddler in tow, but I bet having Garrison there has been wonderful for Joel. Another little person is such a comfort. Wishing you all the best - you're an amazing mother and such a strong person!
ReplyDeleteSonya
Just beautiful! So happy for you all! Hope that the attachment starts soon, and that all goes well on the flights home! <3
ReplyDelete(Typing post again - first one seemed to disappear - apologize if you get two!)
ReplyDeleteJust visited and saw both updates about your precious new son! Congratulations!!!!
We adopted our fourth child, a son, from Bulgaria, almost two years ago. We also used Lifeline and adore them!
Actually, we made our first trip (Bulgaria is two trips), which was one week, almost exactly this week two years ago, so reading your posts is bringing back a flood of emotions. On our first trip, we left our two girls, 4 and 2, and traveled with our three-month old son. Leaving my girls to travel across the world was incredibly difficult. I had barely left them for a night before that trip. And to know both their parents were leaving them - eeek! That feeling of meeting our son the first time - wow. You see pictures but to actually see him. It was amazing. (He was three).
The second trip was two-weels long, four months later. That trip, my husband stayed with the girls, and I took my baby son and sister-in-law. The trip was bittersweet. It was amazing to officially bring our son into our family and spend time in his beautiful birth country, but I missed my husband and girls so much. All I wanted was to be home. The two weeks felt like many months. It was hard to find my joy over God's precious gift of our son when I was missing everyone and home so much.
All this to say, I understand your plethora of emotions. What you are experiencing right now is many highs and lows, I am sure. I am thankful you have your whole family with you and can experience it together. I am thankful for God's perfect placement of Joel in your family! As you know, the adoption we experience here of our children is a wonderful example of God's amazing adoption of us.
Praying for you, sweet sister in Christ, from Jax, Florida. Reader since before you welcomed your first son - Thank you for sharing your life with us!
Oh one more thing - my sister-in-law and her family lived in Beijing for many years and are fluent in Chinese. If you need any help that we can provide, we are here! Joel will learn English so quickly though! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my... so many things I can't put into words... What an incredible story. I've learned so much about international adoption from you. Sweet friend, prayers for this last leg of journey for you, and for peace during the adjustment period home. <3
ReplyDeleteSo excited this day has finally come! Happy Adoption Day!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Such a sweet picture of you and Joel.
ReplyDelete