First up, read a book. Certainly not a hardback. That requires two hands and I have two hands available to me almost never. Even driving, I'm going one handed most of the time, as I have perfected the art of holding the paci in his mouth as we travel down the road. I may dislocate my shoulder, but my ride is mostly quiet. But reading... are you kidding me?!? If I did have the time to read, I should be reading parenting books. Four months will be here in the blink of an eye and I need a plan for sleep! We've had hit or miss days where I think, "oh my gosh it's happening" only to be followed by the worst night of sleep ever. We need help in this department. I know it, and I know I should be researching it, but see above. Not to mention all of the other stages that I'm ridiculously unprepared for. But the truth is, if I scrounged up enough time to read and I had both hands available, my thoughts would be "SLEEP!!!! Oh God, have mercy let me sleep!" rather than "hmm, I wonder what's new on the bestseller list." My only real hope to read would be during the middle of the night feedings when I'm typically scouring Facebook on my phone for anything that might have changed in the last three hours. Seriously, help a mama out people, post something interesting at 2am! I could use this time to read a kindle book on my phone if I was desperate, but really, I'm only desperate to go back to sleep!
Along the same line, I may never read the Bible, have quiet time, etc. ever again. I'm not in anyway saying that I was perfect before Garrison. My prayer life has been crappy for a number of years, and I haven't been good at journaling or keeping a notebook in over a decade. But I was occasionally reading a new book or devotional and at least attempting to read the Bible for a few minutes each morning. 90% of the time, that was something super small and quick like She Reads Truth or 1,000 Gifts Devotional, but still, it was something. Now, I just can't imagine ever getting back in the swing of things and feeling relaxed and undistributed enough for it to mean anything. I don't want to do it just to check a box, I want the time to matter. However, She Reads Truth just launched a new series today on Women in the Word. I'm going to give it my best shot, acknowledge that "quiet time" might happen at 3am in a semi-coherent state of oblivion, and give myself lots of grace.
And lastly, we may never have sex again. The whole "once you adopt you'll get pregnant" thing... yeah, about that. Who are these people who are so relaxed and stress free after adopting that they have ample time to roll around in the sheets all day? In my opinion, having a baby (whether through birth or adoption) is about the best birth control there is. Anyone else? Am I alone in this? If on the off chance there was a period of time in which neither of us were rocking, soothing, feeding a baby and there was nothing to do like wash bottles, or fold clothes, or make dinner, or remember that we have two pets, I can almost guarantee one of us (or both) would rather be sleeping than having sex. The infertility blog world has suddenly become awash in ladies that find themselves mysteriously pregnant after years of infertility after bringing home their first child. I am am now far more baffled by this than I was before Garrison. I'm not sure which is the greater miracle... the pregnancy in light of infertility, or the fact that they found time to have intercourse. Unless you tell me that you all got pregnant on the VERY FIRST TIME you had sex again after bringing your little one home, I am just so confused. You had sex enough to get pregnant with a three month old (or six month old, or nine month old) in the house?!?! I stand here truly amazed at your wifely and motherly skills of keeping it all together without abandoning your spouse in the mean time. Amazing. Kudos to you girls (whether you got pregnant from it or not!). High five and fist bump and standing ovation from me.
So yeah, life looks pretty different the last few months. I think I have permanent dark circles under my eyes from my little rebellious sleeper, and I should probably take out stock now in Boing concealer. However, in my opinion (you'd have to ask my husband if he agrees on that last one) these are the SMALLEST sacrifices EVER to get to wake up to the greatest gift I've ever received. If I never have time for myself again for the rest of my days (which I'm sure will not actually happen), it will be worth it just to be mama to this beautiful baby.
Along the same line, I may never read the Bible, have quiet time, etc. ever again. I'm not in anyway saying that I was perfect before Garrison. My prayer life has been crappy for a number of years, and I haven't been good at journaling or keeping a notebook in over a decade. But I was occasionally reading a new book or devotional and at least attempting to read the Bible for a few minutes each morning. 90% of the time, that was something super small and quick like She Reads Truth or 1,000 Gifts Devotional, but still, it was something. Now, I just can't imagine ever getting back in the swing of things and feeling relaxed and undistributed enough for it to mean anything. I don't want to do it just to check a box, I want the time to matter. However, She Reads Truth just launched a new series today on Women in the Word. I'm going to give it my best shot, acknowledge that "quiet time" might happen at 3am in a semi-coherent state of oblivion, and give myself lots of grace.
And lastly, we may never have sex again. The whole "once you adopt you'll get pregnant" thing... yeah, about that. Who are these people who are so relaxed and stress free after adopting that they have ample time to roll around in the sheets all day? In my opinion, having a baby (whether through birth or adoption) is about the best birth control there is. Anyone else? Am I alone in this? If on the off chance there was a period of time in which neither of us were rocking, soothing, feeding a baby and there was nothing to do like wash bottles, or fold clothes, or make dinner, or remember that we have two pets, I can almost guarantee one of us (or both) would rather be sleeping than having sex. The infertility blog world has suddenly become awash in ladies that find themselves mysteriously pregnant after years of infertility after bringing home their first child. I am am now far more baffled by this than I was before Garrison. I'm not sure which is the greater miracle... the pregnancy in light of infertility, or the fact that they found time to have intercourse. Unless you tell me that you all got pregnant on the VERY FIRST TIME you had sex again after bringing your little one home, I am just so confused. You had sex enough to get pregnant with a three month old (or six month old, or nine month old) in the house?!?! I stand here truly amazed at your wifely and motherly skills of keeping it all together without abandoning your spouse in the mean time. Amazing. Kudos to you girls (whether you got pregnant from it or not!). High five and fist bump and standing ovation from me.
So yeah, life looks pretty different the last few months. I think I have permanent dark circles under my eyes from my little rebellious sleeper, and I should probably take out stock now in Boing concealer. However, in my opinion (you'd have to ask my husband if he agrees on that last one) these are the SMALLEST sacrifices EVER to get to wake up to the greatest gift I've ever received. If I never have time for myself again for the rest of my days (which I'm sure will not actually happen), it will be worth it just to be mama to this beautiful baby.
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Ha ha! So obviously I can't relate to these, but I'm hoping this becomes my problem in Dec ;) I've read about the sex thing and that makes me horribly depressed but at the same time, I know it's gets better. And I know that sometimes it's better to bite the bullet and do it even when you're exhausted. Lol but I guess we'll see when my time comes. I know it feels like you won't ever have time for those things again, but you will. Eventually. :) Loving those baby pictures!
ReplyDeleteHa ha! So obviously I can't relate to these, but I'm hoping this becomes my problem in Dec ;) I've read about the sex thing and that makes me horribly depressed but at the same time, I know it's gets better. And I know that sometimes it's better to bite the bullet and do it even when you're exhausted. Lol but I guess we'll see when my time comes. I know it feels like you won't ever have time for those things again, but you will. Eventually. :) Loving those baby pictures!
ReplyDeletehaha so funny and true! I am one of those surprise (!) pregnant with a 9 month old after a tough road to baby #1 ladies, and I can attest that it absolutely did not happen because of the quantity alone time. Just lucky I suppose? The exhaustion is still in full effect. I have not gotten a manicure or gone shopping alone more than once in 11 months. TV shows? I am behind on everything because I fall asleep right away. I did feel like picking up one thing that I used to do (for me reading) has made me feel more like myself. I'm a mom but still me!
ReplyDeleteYou have me laughing to the point I'm almost in tears because YEP, I get this list completely.
ReplyDeleteSadly I don't have any tips for you. Our munchkins really LOVED seeing their mommy in the middle of the night. We were so thankful for grandparents who were and still are more than willing to watch kid(s) for long blocks of time allowing us time to be individuals and a couple. Eventually it gets better, you both get a nap here and there and the sex will happen again. BUT I hear stories of people who's kids are born 12 months apart and I'm still amazed they found time so soon.
Once my youngest started sleeping through the night at age 3 1/2, I realized how exhausted I truly was. I think we simply adapt to operating in our exhausted states.
Echoing above. I remember too well all of this. Seems surreal that we're even encountering different problems now. It will get easier on this end, I promise. You will find time to do these activities again. Only to have the next set of problems thrown at you, but at least it will be something new.
ReplyDeleteHang in there lady. You're doing an awesome job.
Bahahaha how have we not discussed issue #3 yet??! Because...yeah. On the plus side, I have started making time for reading again, so I'm only 2/3 on your list. ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, all the ladies here struggling with #3 need to take advantage of weekend naps, just saying…. I don't know how people manage to be romantic after 9PM, but you're still pretty awake at 2pm! And there are worse things to do on a Saturday afternoon, right?? :) :) :)
ReplyDeleteJennie, I admire your energy. Seriously. We were sleeping when they slept, otherwise I wouldn't be alive.
DeleteWell, I also have 20 month old - that was DEFINITELY not happening with a newborn. But it's something to shoot for. Gotta get creative. :)
DeleteAmanda, in the first couple of months with Noah and Beckom I thought this post in my head. Why on earth do we never really hear about how HARD things are? Not that it would change anything, but I was in a complete shock although I had "felt" prepared before, I was anything but during. It is insane when life has been so focused on becoming a parent yet pre-child it's almost like we are single-we do whatever we want. Post-child, a trip to the bank alone feels like a hot date. I agree, worth it all but holy mother those first couple months were intense. At 3 months n and b BOTH started sleeping through the night-a miracle 100%, nothing I did, and I am so grateful. There has been a rough night like once a month but even those are ok...i'm getting nervous about teething!!
ReplyDeleteIt gets better. It will probably never be the same (until the kids are away at college), but it does get a little better as time goes on. My two year old still HATES to sleep, and it can be a fight, but we are getting there. :)
ReplyDeleteNeeded this today. Was worth of a hearty laugh, that's for sure!! You're rocking this mama thing. Even if you feel sleep/sex-deprived! ;)
ReplyDeleteI am laughing so hard right now! Since the twins, there is NO rolling around in the sheets.
ReplyDeleteStrangely I have been thinking about this lately and our little one isn't here yet. It definitely will be a life changer since we are so use to picking up and going.
ReplyDeleteLove this! How true. Except I'm still shocked myself about #3 myself and how I somehow fell into the group of women you're talking about :) on the other hand- I still haven't read a book since before the boys were born!
ReplyDeleteAs for sex, yeah I got nothin' for you. It will come back, in slow drips and drabs.
ReplyDeleteHere's how I started reading again: I would put my kindle paperwhite on the largest text size and slowly read, absorbing little to nothing, while I was up with H in the middle of the night. Once sleep got better, I started reading a few minutes before bed. I also read on my commute. It takes me about 7 years to finish a book but I still enjoy it. But I haven't had one of those lazy Saturdays where I sit in PJs, drinking coffee and reading for hours since H was born. And that's ok.
Ha! SO true! You WILL get back to all of these things in time. And with increased sleep. All of which will come! We're only 2 months ahead of you, but these past 2 months have been SO MUCH EASIER! And more fun. You're such a good mom and I'm excited to continue to follow your journey! (Although you don't have to tell us when #3 happens again. ;-) hehe
ReplyDeletehaha! You had me laughing girl...which I know your points were not at all funny, but you still have your sense of humor in writing about it. Which is good :) And I get it about not having time for the Lord. After we got our foster child VERY unexpectedly last year it was hard for me to get back into the swing of things. But I finally found my groove. I prayed to God that I was sorry for only have five minutes but for Him to make it the best five minutes that He could. And ya know what? He did. Because to Him, five minutes is soo much better than zero minutes. We often times don't think of it as though He wants to spend time with us too but He does. And so I know He will bless you for your sacrifice. Hang in there momma! I think you are doing good! xoxo
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Lol we are struggling to get our little guy to sleep still too... Will it ever happen? It would be fine if I never had to go back to work, but that has me worried. Still, every moment with these babies are heaven so I am so happy and grateful! Thanks for this post!
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