Baby Snuggles in the Sunshine State

Well, I had all of these grand plans for more posts last week after the BIG NEWS (in case you missed it, catch up here), but every day has just been absolutely packed. Between discharge day from the hospital, follow-up pediatrician appt, attempting to start a registry, trying to arrange daycare, there's just been very little down time. I'm currently holding a sleepy baby and typing this out on the blogger app (ughh). And I probably won't even proofread this (sorry).

On Thursday of last week, we got the all clear to leave the hospital. He was in the NICU (level 3 NICU) for nine days, but we missed all of that. The switch to the NICU Step Down (level 2) is actually what prompted our agency to go ahead and call us that Friday. I want to write more about the NICU experience later, but for now, I just feel like I have to say, my experience was nothing like so many others. I almost feel weird saying he was in the NICU. To me, NICU conjures up the idea of VERY sick babies... Neonatal INTENSIVE CARE UNIT. I mean if your spouse gets checked into the ICU, you'd be freaking out. I was never really all that freaked. I mean I hated all of the beeping, the wires, etc, but I was never actually concerned that anything really awful was going to happen. I was simply waiting to get out. I don't take that for granted. I know many of you have had vastly different hospital and NICU experiences. And truthfully, as I still don't have access to complete medical records, I'm not sure if his first nine days were awful and terrifying, or just routine. 

Discharge day finally came on Thursday, so I actually only had about four days in the NICU Step Down with him. He spent a total of fifteen days in the hospital. Which after just my short stint with him in the NICU, I've already learned what a blessing healthy children are. 

We're currently waiting to get cleared from Georgia to come home. I'm trying to remain calm, but I admit that I am so ready. Keeping a two week old premie in a hotel is interesting... and costs a lot of money in quarters for laundry.

Sam came down for the weekend and then went back for work last night. Bless his little hard-working heart. He's already such a good provider. I'm currently not getting paid, which obviously sucks. When I think with a rational brain, I realize that I have to go back to work. And I'm thankful that I actually really like my job, as I'm sure that will help when the time comes. But when I think about the fact that I'm already on week two of six of maternity leave, I feel like I might die. How in the world am I supposed to leave this teeny tiny baby with strangers in just five weeks?!? And they will absolutely be strangers. I have no time to set up appointments, tour facilities, anything like that. I've done what I can by asking people I trust, and I'm just praying the pieces fall into place. We're currently first in line at our top choice, but there's no way to know if that spot will open in time. And so far, a backup plan isn't working out, but something will fall into place, I'm sure. 

Motherhood is still really surreal. Mother's Day popped into my head the other day and my initial reaction was still sadness... it was about five minutes before I realized things have changed. Mother's Day won't feel like that this year. I'm not sure if I'm still in shock, or subconsciously worried about the birth father, but it definitely doesn't feel real yet. It feels like I'm babysitting for a long time. Maybe it's going to take time. We're halfway through the birth father's time and we haven't heard a word from him. Unfortunately for us, he also hasn't signed away his rights (which would end the 30 days immediately). So we wait. 

I'll certainly let you know once we're headed home... should be a really fun car ride. Thank you all for the outpouring of love and support last week. We continue to feel so blessed by all of you! Off to snuggle my itty bitty baby. I hear he won't be little for long.