Weary of Worry

It's biblical not to worry. God demands faith in him for our needs and desires. So let me confess: this is my greatest sin right now. I am in a constant state of worry. My BBT, and CF, and OPK tests don't match up... I worry. I eat heavy Italian food, no, correction, I gorge myself on fattening garlic butter roles, pan-fried chicken covered in tomato sauce and cheese, probably consuming a weeks worth of calories in one sitting... I worry. I drink a diet coke... I worry. I'm in a continuous cycle of second guessing every decision in regards to conceiving. It's one worry after another, after another.

I'm so completely jealous of my friends who, by some happy miracle, just discover that they are pregnant. Here I am eating healthier that I have in my entire life, rarely consuming even 100mg of caffeine, taking prenatal vitamins, never consuming alcohol, and I'm not even pregnant.

Today I heard a friend discussing how she had a glass of wine before she even knew she was pregnant. Instead of thinking, that could happen to anybody, I immediately think you shouldn't be consuming alcohol if you are having unprotected sex. I know, it's her body, her baby, and the odds are that everything will be fine. But oh, it is so hard to see people nonchalantly shrug off alcohol consumption while pregnant or drinking coffee everyday without any cares or worries. Especially when I'm worried sick about EVERYTHING!