All Alone

They say as many as one in every three pregnancies ends in miscarriage. It certainly doesn't feel that way. I know of one (count them ONE) other person who has had a miscarriage in their 20's. Instead it feels as if everyday another friend from high school or college announces a pregnancy. My cousin Autumn is pregnant, my brother is expecting a baby girl in March. Had I carried my pregnancy to term we would have all been right in a row: Shane in March, Autumn in April, and me in May. But no, it was not to be.

It seems as if everyday that I log onto Facebook someone's wall post declares "My Baby's Progress". I feel as if everyday I have to learn (don't really have to, but I must love pain) about someone's baby drinking his own pee, or growing eyelashes. I literally just want to scream. Let me clarify, in no way do I wish any of these ladies ill. I regularly pray that they have healthy, happy pregnancies. But I can't help but question, why not me?

I'm truly happy for my friends who are becoming mommies and daddies for the first time (second timers are a little hard to swallow : ) ) I'm truly happy for my friends and family, but jealousy is a powerful emotion... one that I can't currently control.